BRINGING HOPE INTO THE NEW YEAR

–Terri Pellitteri, Editor- January 2000

As we move into our sixth year of publication, and into a new year, we’d like to begin with a message of hope. Below are some quotes and excerpts from articles that we thought might be useful as we navigate the upcoming year.

In an article written by Rev. Charles T. Rubey, of the Chicago LOSS Program, Rev. Rubey writes about the new year, grief, and hope. Midway through the article he writes, …”Unfortunately, survivors don’t leave that (grief) in the year past. It follows them into the new year. The one thing that survivors can hope for is that there is a resolve to live with the pain. There will no longer be the avoidance or pretending that the pain is not there. The survivor will not master it, nor will it master the survivor. By embracing and owning the grief, one discovers that it is not this gargantuan fear-filled experience. It is painful and gut-wrenching, but it is no longer formidable. At times the grief seems to be winning the bout. It will win as long as it remains the formidable foe. Once a truce exists between the survivor and the pain, life and the zest for living returns…”
~ Rev. Charles T. Rubey ~

One of the most hopeful thoughts about being a “Survivor” is knowing that one can claim that title with pride after a period of time, knowing that you have truly chosen to live beyond the loss. It is easier to see in hindsight that “grief shared, is grief diminished,” to realize that talking and rethinking the loss is a way to move forward. (The author of the quote is unknown, but the quote is often used on SOS brochures).
~ Jeanne Adams ~

“If you find a path with no obstacles on it, the chances are that it doesn’t lead anywhere.”
I don't know who said this but I found it in a little publication called "Bits & Pieces" at my office long ago. There have been some horrible obstacles in my life; my stepson’s and husband's suicides were the worst. When I began to see that there were a lot of years, and a lifetime yet ahead of me, I had to imagine it without them. Then, when someone (my current husband) cared enough to be with me it was extremely difficult to face another, different life (after all the pain in the past). It was hard to be happy and to love again, to overcome the guilt of going on with my life and appearing to be normal. I decided to try to quit believing what happened in the past was my punishment (when I could). This belief had been like a weighted anchor and was keeping me close to drowning. I chose to decide that the events of the past led me to the here and now, and to the life I have. I have hope that I can make a difference in the lives of those I love – because those very obstacles changed me so much.
~ A Survivor ~

My hope for the new year comes as I see the Surgeon General, David Satcher, talking publicly about Mental Illness as a disease and suicide (in some cases) a result of that disease. I believe the issue has come to his attention as a result of NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) and Elsie/Jerry Weyrauch from Atlanta, surviving parents of a young women who took her life. I believe survivors of suicide, finally speaking out on behalf of their loved ones and wanting to making a difference, can affect change and this can lower the number of suicides. By combining our efforts with NAMI, we have an even stronger voice. I am heartened by people coming together to work on removing the stigma and to talk about their pain, whether it be related to their loss, depression, or the mental illness their loved ones lived with. The age of silence is lifting and by talking openly about suicide, depression and mental illness, we will take away some of the power of “the secret.” Survivors are the hope for the future, especially as we offer each other hope and combine our efforts to educate the public.
~ Susan Conlin Opheim ~

SOS Newsletter Article, Mental Health Center of Dane County, Inc.