He was my father, I am his son.
I am his father, he was my son.

Don Levy-April 1996

I

When I was small I only saw my father
every other Sunday for half a day.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father never said I love you,
or hugged me or said he cared about me.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father built a wall of anger around him,
and I feared him.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father never told me how he felt,
or about his childhood or what he was thinking.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father lived a life of secrecy,
everything was always implied, never said.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father argued and raged
and held grudges for many years.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father worshiped his God with gifts of money.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father urged me to use the power of knowledge and education, to use my mind instead of my back.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father was a workaholic who believed
that hard work brought all of life’s rewards.
He was my father, I am his son.
My father died without my mother,
a lonely, tired, bitter old man.
He was my father, I am his son.
I know now that my father did the best he could.
He was my father, I am his son.

II

When my son was small,
my wife urged me to spend time and play with him.
I am his father, he was my son.
Sometimes I told my son “I love you”
and hugged him and said I cared about him.
I am his father, he was my son.
I built a wall of anger around me,
and my son feared me.
I am his father, he was my son.
Sometimes I told my son how I felt,
or about my childhood or what I was thinking.
I am his father, he was my son.
I lived a life of secrecy
and most things were implied, never said
I am his father, he was my son.
Sometimes I argued and raged
and held grudges for many years.
I am his father, he was my son.
I worshiped my God with gifts of money until I discovered the love of my higher power.
I am his father, he was my son.
I urged my son to use the power of knowledge
and education, to use his mind instead of his back.
I am his father, he was my son.
I taught my son honesty
and to obey the laws of the land.
I am his father, he was my son.
Sometimes I was a workaholic who believed that hard work brought all of life’s rewards.
I am his father, he was my son.
My son died by suicide,
a lonely, tired, bitter young man.
I am his father, he was my son.
I know now how this works
and that I did the best I could.
I am his father, he was my son.

Don Levy
March 5, 1992
SOS of Dane County Group Member
Dedicated to the memory of my father and my son.
Albert Levy, December 25, 1900 - July 13, 1974
Daniel Harold Levy, April 20, 1961 - May 8, 1991

SOS Newsletter Article, Mental Health Center of Dane County, Inc.