HOLIDAY SUGGESTIONS

- Terri Pellitteri, Editor SOS Newsletter, Oct 2002

– Express honest feelings by being honest with your family and friends about what you want to do for the holidays. Expectations should only be what each family member is able to handle comfortably. Tears and honest emotions can be a gift to yourself as an expression of holiday life.

– Include the deceased in your conversation with the family and friends as you discuss celebrations of past years. Our loved one will be here in our hearts and minds.

– Buy yourself a special gift by spending as much time and effort on yourself as you would on any other ‘very special’ person. The gift to yourself can even have a private secret, very personal meaning.

– Give flowers or plants to your church or organization in memory of your loved one. Give flower to someone who needs recognition, especially at this time of the year.

– Consider changing the focus of your holiday celebration by changing some old traditions. For example, open gifts at a different time, plan the meal earlier, have the main decoration in a different room or area, change a recipe, etc.

– Set limits as you realize that it is going to be easy. Do the things that are special or important to you. Be very careful of the ‘shoulds’ in any situation. Just do the best that you can in any holiday happening.

– Take care of yourself; eat right, schedule some time for exercise, and get plenty of sleep.

– Plan to be with people you enjoy.

– Don’t isolate yourself. Reach out to others for caring and sharing. Find a good balance between time alone and time with others.

The holidays are difficult for all who have lost loved ones, but especially poignant for the survivor who is newly bereaved. As the years go by, the sadness becomes less overwhelming but it lingers. There is joy to be found, but one must make a conscious effort to find it. Most survivors have found it helps to have a holiday plan and to change some of the family traditions.

SOS Newsletter Article, Mental Health Center of Dane County, Inc.