Survivors of Suicide Sometimes Need Professional Help

–Vicki Westrich, SOS / Emergency Services, Mental Health Center of Dane Co.- July 1998

Some of the most common reactions shared by survivors, regardless or age or relationship to the deceased, include guilt, stigma, anger, the need to search for “why,” and for many, an identification with the suicide. Thus, the example of a suicide in one’s life can become a kind of “modeling” behavior, particularly if the person who died was an admired or prominent person. The possibility of suicide as a “solution” may present itself more readily to some survivors whose problems seem overwhelming or unsolvable. (Though survivors tend to agree with the statement that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.)

The survivor may question whether suicidal behavior is inherited, or whether it is contagious. He/she may even start to develop a fear of his/her own self-destructive impulses, especially when feelings of guilt and anger can be strong. It is important to remember that suicide is not a disease that can be transmitted. Untreated depression however can increase one’s risk for suicide. Research suggests that some forms of depression do have a genetic component.
While many bereaved individuals may have fleeting thoughts of suicide as a means of reuniting with their loved one and escaping the pain of grief, most do not act on these thoughts. They are also often relieved to know that such thoughts are common among survivors and diminish over time.

Depending on the survivor’s personal needs and interests, assistance with grief could include use of a survivors self-help support group. Participants in Dane County’s Survivor Of Suicide Support Group attest to how loss, grief and mourning assault the mind, body and spirit – affecting one’s personal, social, and work experiences. Support groups give encouragement, share information, and give practical suggestions for dealing with bereavement. Many survivors find such informal peer support to be a source of strength and hope.

While self-help groups can be wonderfully therapeutic in assisting you with your mourning, they do not replace in-depth professional individual assistance if it is warranted. Don’t let feelings of embarrassment or shame keep you from seeking the help you might need. Seeking assistance of a mental health professional means you are pursuing what you need – and that is healthy self-care.

Persons trained and best equipped to assess your risk, or refer you to appropriate services may include your doctor, clergy person, or psychologist/social worker. There are also "Grief Counselors" who have concentrated training and experience helping bereaved individuals.

Mourners often underestimate the impact of so traumatic a loss on emotional, physical, and social functioning. Recognize self-destructive/suicidal thoughts for what they are: symptoms of distress.

Persistence or concrete suicidal thoughts (considering suicide as a real option, or actually planning one’s suicide) are indicators to seek professional help immediately. Your local 24-hour crisis/suicide prevention line is listed in your phone book. Your HMO, or hospital ER are also resources that can help you access immediate professional service. In Dane County, the Emergency Mental Health/Suicide Prevention 24-hour crisis line is (608)280-2600.

SOS Newsletter Article, Mental Health Center of Dane County, Inc.