Video Report

When Bad Things Happen To Good People–

VIDEO: Dr. Harold Kusher –– Review by: Lynn Goldade, SOS Newsletter Volunteer-October 1996

This one hour video condenses Dr. Kushner’s 150 page book and was filmed during a speaking engagement in North Carolina. Rabbi Kushner’s 14 year old son died of progeria, a disease of old age that kills young children. He begins with: “You live, you know people, you experience tragedy or those close to you do, you ask – why do bad things happen to good people?”

When Dr. Kushner’s son was ill and dying, people did and said all the helpful things they could, with all the conventional reasons being given for why things were happening the way they were. Although Dr. Kushner realized he had said many of those very same things when others faced various crises, he realized, that in this own pain, the things being said did help. Not only did they not make sense, sometimes they even hurt. It’s not “God’s will” that a child dies, or that a country is at war. God is not sadistic.

With some very careful and special humor, Dr. Kushner explains in his video his crisis of faith and his questioning of God’s will. He analyses the Book of Job and the three suppositions of the Bible that state: (1) God is in charge and is all powerful; (2) God is good; (3) Job is a good person. Dr Kushner then further questions which of these must not be true for Job (or any other good person) to have such misery? He discusses society’s norm of blaming the victim when no explanation is easy to find and feels strongly that we should never call floods, fires, accidents, “Acts of God,” as they are not deliberate acts of God – rather, they are random acts of Nature.

Friends can help us. Or as Dr. Kushner says, “Human being are God’s Language.” If you ever wonders whether you should intrude on someone’s sorrow – the answer is you must. Although we are the uncomfortable ones, our friends need our help and will feel even further rejected by those not calling, not writing, not sitting with them in their pain.

What to say to a friend who is suffering? Simply say you are sorry, then – “shut up and listen!” People don’t expect an answer to the question – “Why did this happen to me/us?” They need to know it did not happen because of them personally, and they need you to tell them this. I suggest you look up and read, Isaiah 40:32 – God Helps Us Cope.

There is no justice, there is only love. Don’t look for answers to why. Spend your energy helping and reaching out. See this video, or read the book. A special store owner sent me a copy after leaning of my husband’s death. Not someone really close or even someone I already knew. Just an acquaintance. You can make a difference by doing something, so don’t avoid people in pain. Help them.

A week after I agreed to write this review for the S.O.S. newsletter I had to again ask the question, “why do bad things happen to good people?” I asked this question because, after only three weeks in this country, a 15 year old girl was murdered in Lodi, Wisconsin – a quiet little town of less than 2,000 where people live without the fear of the bigger cities. Being engaged to a Lodi resident, knowing others, and having become friends with some special residents, this question once again because very important me, as well as to a lot of other people in the community. Many people were asking the question, “Why?” – just as I and my friends and relatives did when my husband committed suicide. Only now they were asking, “Why kill an innocent girl?” “Why kill anyone?” “How can this be God’s will?”

There are no answers to WHY bad things happen. No logical answers. The question is WHEN bad things happen what can you do? If you are the one in pain – you can go on. If you are a friend, relative, or even acquaintance – you can help others cope with their pain.

SOS Newsletter Article, Mental Health Center of Dane County, Inc.